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tuatara
11-27-2007, 08:03 AM
Hi everyone,

I have been a long-time listener to the network but I had never checked out the forums. This seems like a pretty cool scene. There's something I've been thinking about tonight so I thought I'd bounce it off you guys.

Okay, so I journeyed to the local mall this past weekend. Somewhere between the front door and the escalator I realised that it's happening again - Christmas is coming to the southern hemisphere. This was a shock to me but I should have figured it out. The clues were everywhere (pine trees looming over [empty] gift-wrapped boxes, some poor dude dressed in a big red suit, fake snow on the window displays) but I had managed to block them out as normal mall weirdness.

The holiday spirit finally cut through my fog of protection by means of a soft jazz version of 'Jingle Bell Rock'. This cloying, awful song penetrated my into consciousness and I became aware that I had stumbled into the first weekend of Christmas shopping. As I walked around the store I was treated to lame renditions of other yule-time hits such as 'Santa Baby', 'I'll be home for Christmas' and 'Santa Claus is coming to town'. I was in consumer hell.

Then the store played 'Carol of the bells'.

I never thought I would ever say this but next to all those other songs 'Carol of the bells' rules. Seriously. It's all minor key freakiness with quick fire lyrics that are impossible to understand sung over and over until they're spun into a frantic muddle. I don't know what I want in a stoner Christmas song but that is close.

So my question to the forums is this. Are there any traditional or modern-day Christmas Carols that you think have a stoner quality to them?

Tuatara Hermit

P.S> I am never going to a mall again.

BlackBeauty
11-27-2007, 09:09 AM
Well although not strictly stoner, here's some words to an Aussie version of 'Jingle Bells' - remember, it's scorching hot here during Christmas (are you in the Southern hemisphere too?)...

Dashing through the bush
In a rusty Holden Ute
Kicking up the dust
Esky in the boot
Kelpie by my side
Singing Christmas songs
It's summer time and I am in
My singlet, shorts & thongs CHORUS:
OH, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS
JINGLE ALL THE WAY
CHRISTMAS IN AUSTRALIA
ON A SCORCHING SUMMER'S DAY
JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS
CHRISTMAS TIME IS BEAUT
OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE
IN A RUSTY HOLDEN UTE
Engine's getting hot
Dodge the kangaroos
Swaggy climbs aboard
He is welcome too
All the family is there
Sitting by the pool
Christmas day, the Aussie way
By the barbecue!
CHORUS
Come the afternoon
Grandpa has a doze
The kids and uncle Bruce
Are swimming in their clothes
The time comes round to go
We take a family snap
Then pack the car and all shoot through
Before the washing up
CHORUS


:D :D :D

VictoriaPandora
11-27-2007, 04:16 PM
Hey Tuatara:)


http://www.arazone.net/joseph+spence-cLiPYk5ufApUArQ.html

Joseph Spence Santa Clause Is Coming To Town Folk Guitarist from the Bahamas. This guy was a genius!
I swear this song is my favourite thing about Christmas.

Dr. Demento also has quite a varied collection of Xmas tunes.

And Bob and Doug McKenzie did the 12 days of christmas and others.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WCXnlFWaIY

You are right about Carol of the Bells, it's a masterpiece.
This is how I deal with bad mall music on the rare occasion that I am FORCED into one... I have these special plug earphones... so I just load my sansa with whatever I like and problem solved, (for the most part:)
:cool:

tuatara
12-08-2007, 05:05 PM
I have been away for a little while and unable to comment.

I'm flat out today but I just wanted to mention that the Joseph Spence rendition is great! What a great find.

I just spent too long searching the internet for Root Boy Slim's song 'Christmas at K-Mart'. I first came across it on Episode 86 (http://www.rusiriusradio.com/2006/12/19/show-86-documentary-director-makes-war-on-christmas/) of the RU Sirius show. Actually the whole show is worth checking out.

Oh, and I agree ... headphones help dissolve mall stress.

VictoriaPandora
12-08-2007, 09:54 PM
The RU Sirius show is ACE... I havent seen any new ones in quite a while. Am I missing out? Man, I love his show, and have been wondering where he is. PM me if you have info... from what I can tell there is nothing new.

Yah, Jo Spence... what a guy:)